GLOOMY DISPOSITION

I was just talking to my cousin about some things. "Where did I go to?", "What has happened to me?" I said. I explained how my thoughts where way out of alignment, how I had become negative— so much so, that I was nauseating myself.

While I am fully aware that I did have an influence in my childhood that taught me how to be negative and pessimistic, I'm of age now. And knowing what I know about what 'outlook' can do— I should not be feeling like I have been. Where is my MOJO? ;o)

Well, I finally got to the bottom of it. It was frustrating me. I realized that it's this Blog. Isn't that crazy?!  I set out to make sure to post the realities of this surgery. I really minded finding very few journals online and most of them, at the time, were just birds-eye-view, before and after pics. Just one or two stories that didn't tell anything about the process, or actual flexibility of the toe after surgery.

I really want those looking into this surgery to know how it might be for them. While I am achieving that goal, it comes at a price. Having to give weekly accounts of all of the realities each week makes me mostly focus on the difficulties and challenges. THAT is affecting my thoughts greatly. And those has lead me to a gloomy disposition. Additionally, I don't have a daily network of persons to dialogue with in a positive way.

I will continue to post the realities and challenges. But now I know I also have to, in my personal life, combat that with the old positive me. A 'better' positive me even!

I know it will be challenging because I'm stuck inside, but that won't be for too much longer I think. (It's been 11 weeks of not being able to get out on my own.) I have two more weeks to go before taking my first steps. My hopes are that I will be able to walk freely before either of my doctors think I will.

And even though my ankle may swell tonight, I just may go drive to a park bench and get some sun rays. (I've been avoiding this also because I feel guilty that I would go out and Missy can not. If I took her just out to the stoop, she's so outdoor deprived that she will only want to walk. She won't understand why we aren't going.) But perhaps I'll just do it anyway and see how it goes! ;o)

This all proves what I had anticipated when building this blog initially: You have to stay joyful while you're recuperating. That's why I put some positive tools on the right side of this Blog. USE THEM!

Surround yourself with family and friends who will speak to you daily about the positive side of your recovery.

Tootles!

--Guess What?!---

I walked Missy on my crutches for a small bit. And I was so excited that I was gonna drive to get some lunch when lo and behold... the car won't start. Battery dead, go figure.